I thought my mood is finally slowly changing to be better.. I thought people understand..

Well, I thought wrong. And again and again, my mood is spoilt.

I really though I can go back to living normally with a happy mood always, it's not like I also want to keep emo-ing. But how can I stop when I keep having my mood spoil whenever I stepped onto the path to slowly begin to recover?

Then again, being angry and being in a bad mood is 2 different things. For all the times I've cursed myself for not being able to be angry, I passed off things saying that I simply do not wish to waste my anger on someone trival. Bad mood, on the other hand, plagued me always.

I dislike the me that bottled everything up; that never asks for help because of my dislike to burden others; I dislike myself who always only think about not troubling other people and thus endure all the troublesome things myself.

I dislike even more the parts of myself that do not allow me to just voice out how I feel freely without having to care about how other people think about me behind my back, not to mention my personality in which unless it is a super big thing I would never dream of asking for help. In a corner of my mind, I think, asking for help make me feel as if I am weak and useless as well as dependent.

There is also the part of me who would always think of things to be harder than they actually are and falters before I do it.

Change is important; change is neccessary; change is something much needed and appreciated...change is something I've failed to acheive time and time again...