I really cannot get some people, cannot understand the words they say; cannot understand why they do the things they did; cannot figure out whether they are being serious or just joking and fooling around.

Maybe I'm just someone who thinks too much and pondered upon the useless stuffs. But people are always complicated and it saddens me that I find myself unable to even understand those around me. Some may wear masks to hide their true feelings, some might wear their emotion on the sleeves and it is precisely the fact that I cannot tell who is doing which that makes me really tired. Tired of always second guessing people, of always wondering what they are hiding in their hearts.

Whatever a person does, I find myself questioning it; whatever someone says, I'll suspect it. Although I want to be able to trust, I find it being an impossible task despite tired of always suspecting and second guessing...

Perhaps I'm not in a position where I can talk about others when I myself often greet the world with a mask on. It is too hard not to, it's too dangerous not to yet at the same time it's too tiring to continue doing so.

Tiring is when I always have to think before speaking or doing something; tiring when someone say or do something and I think about their motive behind it; tiring when people talk together excluding me and I have to wonder if it's about me; tiring when I have so much to say yet no one will be there to lend an ear and I can only keep my thoughts to myself...