Stayed at home all day and did nothing useful again. Slept late, woke up late, laze around, waste time/electricity/food - that seem to be how I've been living during the weekends.

I have lots of problems, lots of issue, lots more complex emotion that can't be phrase into words.

But let's face reality, who doesn't?

But everyone's problem is their own, so is mine. I can't sit back and pretend they aren't there, closing one eye all the time to avoid confronting my problems.

Living is tiring. Communicating with others are exhausting. Trusting someone with everything feels impossible. Understanding a person is just plain hard.

I don't like the part of me that always struggle to find something to say.
When someone is feeling down, words of encouragement are needed.
When someone is feeling happy, words of agreement and opinion should be voiced out.
Everyone knows this, but sometimes the words just get stuck in my throat.

Why should I say something for the sake of speaking? is a question I often ask myself.
Was what I said the correct thing to say? is another question I always wonder after talking.

And of course, the main question I always had to ponder is, how do others really see me?
Maybe one day I'll get the courage to ask someone to describe me to me from their point of view.

Finding a purpose...
Looking for a reason...
Discovering why...
Just what...

...is the purpose of my existence